1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
