Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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