just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
