I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize