yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
In America we eat man semen.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Randomize
