Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
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He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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