Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize