Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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