so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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