im drinking this country out of the recession.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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