You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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