I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Randomize
