Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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