Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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