Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
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There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
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Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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