my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
