I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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