Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
