I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
