Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
