I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
