Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
