We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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