just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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