can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
