so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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