I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
