Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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