Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
