dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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