so let's talk penis.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
