i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize