i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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