i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
