Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
