Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize