he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
