I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Panties = found
Randomize
