I wish life had little blips of pornography
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
