He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
