i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize