my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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