so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
