I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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