i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
