I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
