Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I will pee on everything he values.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
