Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
