I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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