We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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