Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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