btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep