cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
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He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
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in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.