My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it