Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My vagina is officially offended.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.