my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
