Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
