If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize