So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
