Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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