you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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