Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize