Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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