how do flat chested girls get laid?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
