It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
